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F Performance Nissan Patrol - Patrolicious

Hypercars never saw this one coming

Aaron Bonk
Feb 1, 2018
Photographer: Bob Wingate

As far as you're concerned, Nissan's 5,400-pound, millennium-era, off-road workhorse of a Patrol is nothing more than a nearly 3-ton lump of an SUV driven mostly by rich sheiks from Dubai. And it is, mostly, except for when they're good for somewhere in the realm of 1,900 hp and those rich sheiks go and beat the pants off of something like a Porsche 918 Spyder.

  |   007F Performance Nissan Patrol Driver Side Front View

But the Patrol wasn't made to go up against 900hp million-dollar hypercars. It's utilitarian by nature. It's a 4x4. There's even a cab-over-chassis version of it that's exactly what you've been looking for — if you're a plumber. It isn't and never was on the 918's radar. Until the people at Dubai's F Performance had their way with the Patrol once Nissan tuning arm NISMO plopped just about everything from an R35 GT-R's nether regions into place followed by a public shaming of that 918 on last season's finale of Amazon Prime's The Grand Tour.

  |   F Performance Nissan Patrol GTR Swap

You think the engine swap alone would allow something like the Patrol to rule the desert highways of the UAE, and you'd be mistaken. In stock form, the petrol version of Nissan's Patrol already pushes 285 hp from its inline, six-cylinder engine, and a hearty supply of aftermarket electronics and turbo systems means 600hp Patrols roaming the streets of the Dubai won't surprise anyone.

Which is exactly where the whole 1,900hp idea came from-an absurd number, even for a GT-R, and, as it turns out, one that's wholly necessary for something like a Patrol to go and romp on a 918.

  |   F Performance Nissan Patrol Nissan Brembo Brakes

You can try and rattle off every last one of the GT-R's bits that made their way onto this here Patrol, but it's easier if you'd just imagine what'd happen if you stuck that Nissan SUV body right on top of a perfectly good R35's set of bones. It's all there-the R35's interior, its brakes, its suspension, its subframes, not to mention its engine and drivetrain. According to the people at F Performance, if it can be unbolted from the GT-R, it's found its way onto the Patrol. Even the front end taken cues from the GT-R with its twin NACA ducts and raised-design carbon-fiber hood and one-off bumper that incorporates the GT-R's fascia, also made of carbon.

The Patrol looks fast, even when it isn't moving. That's in part because of its massive Hoosier slicks, which happen to be DOT-legal and are prerequisite to anything attempting to go this fast. And by fast we mean something that'll do more than 205 mph in less than a half-mile. That's what a stroked-out, 4.1L VR engine generating just shy of 2,000 hp will get you-a number that the people at F Performance say doesn't even represent the engine's full potential.

  |   F Performance Nissan Patrol Hood

Despite its power and ability to pull on a $1-million hypercar, outside this Patrol remains relatively unchanged. Carbon brakes by way of the GT-R bring the brick to a stop, and the SUV's lack of any sort of aero means that 1,900 hp is more necessary than you think, and 205 mph is as butt-cheek-clenching as you can imagine.

  |   F Performance Nissan Patrol Front Seats

As far as you're concerned, the Patrol is about as utilitarian as a refrigerator. A 1,900hp refrigerator that's quicker than just about every production car on Earth.

  |   F Performance Nissan Patrol Spare Tire
  |   F Performance Nissan Patrol Rear Hatch
  |   F Performance Nissan Patrol Passenger Side Front View
  |   F Performance Nissan Patrol Front Bumper
By Aaron Bonk
413 Articles

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